12.19.22
There's nothing like going to your hometown grocery store. You know where everything is, you could probably walk around with your eyes closed. I’m from Michigan, a pretty small town, so you can’t go anywhere without running into people you know. After each interaction I found myself slowly opening up to the culture I used to be accustomed to– I even consulted a stranger on which suitcase to buy, which would basically never happen on the west coast.
I told my mom I felt nicer when I was in Michigan, but I think the truth is I just felt more like myself. The comfortability to tell the truth and not have to carry the weight of it, since I'm talking with people I’ve known for ages. Even if I haven’t seen them in years, I felt they fundamentally understood me. Which is ironic, considering my entire adolescence I felt like an outcast. Sure, they still don’t understand what I’m doing, but it seems like they all have reached some sort of peace that I’m going to figure it out just fine. I think it’s a trait I need to adopt.
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I actually read 10 books this year (I reached my goodreads goals!). It doesn’t seem like a lot, but I used to love to read. To get lost in it. My favorite professor once told me that a singers job is to listen, but a writers job is to read. Reading is a lot like dreaming. Throwing yourself into things not knowing how they’ll turn out. Having faith that it’ll take you on a journey, good or bad or in-between. A simple faith that you can waste a little time and not all will be lost. I love reading and I find that I like to read the most about love. My friends like to joke that the songs I’ll write when I actually get my heart broken will be incredible. I think I believe them.
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